…It’s just the two of us…nothing is standing between us..nothing at all…all I want at this very moment is to feel you close to me in such a way that I don’t want to be my own anymore…at this particular moment I want to forget everything…the pain the strain the anger the sadness and the memories…I just want to be here standing before you…waiting for you to make me yours…mind body and soul… but hold up!!!now that I got your attention, we can move on…it feels good to be back…!
…Trying to intertwine what you really love I must say is always a mystery whether it’s a person you like or a passion you live to pursue…this cool weirdness is hard to explain…but I’ll try to break down for us.
…My journey has been my passion since I could fully comprehend what I really wanted. Though I took a step back to recollect my thoughts and ideas, I lost touch with what made me who I am…what made me tick…but honestly speaking, I think all those words are just code for ‘I WAS A LAZY BUM THE WHOLE TIME!!’…which is ok and not ok if you get what I mean…I decided to crawl back to that little hole that keeps me warm and comfortable…but after some time it stops being so comfortable and sooner or later you know it’s time to move on and face the storm once again.
…Wiping off the dust from the shelf brings back this nostalgic feeling that I’ve been missing for a while now…the feeling of belonging…the feeling of self worth…the zing to my zang…I’m home finally…taking a step back at times is both a good and bad thing. Good because you get to recollect what you feel was lost or was stolen from you for a while and bad because you have an excuse to indulge the demons you try to fight every freaking day…!please excuse my language…but it’s true and once you let them, in there’s no going back it’s like they come back stronger or high on something.
Trying to create structure and consistency for me has never been an easy task. Creating schedules and getting distracted easily is a major problem for me. I must say exceeding expectations at times scares me, funny I know …it’s scary when as a ‘writer’ you are afraid that your last article was much better than the sentence you are trying to write at that particular time…and you’re writing…and you’re writing and you’re writing..and you’re deleting and re writing to a point where your brain decides to give up and there’s no better time to switch gears to look at your Instagram and Facebook and pick out a series that’s calling out for you…”I’ll live to another day” is what I tell myself and that day just disapears.
Interestingly enough, I also find myself getting creative in the wierdest of places and wierdest of times…once I found myself writing one of my articles in a matatu on my way to work I didn’t even know when I got to town I just took a second away from my phone and there I was almost passing my stage I’m sure people in the matatu thought I was loosing my mind or had already lost it…but oh well it was all good nothing could beat that sense of accomplishment hehe. My phone and my handy notebook are my best friends ideas come at the least expected times and I find myself taking notes even in the middle of the night and going back to them I must say has really helped.As a writer I think the best way to thrive is finding your wierd routine. Always sieze the moment…make your wierd work for you…everyday is a learning experience embrace it I have done so with mine…and so far so good and I guess now I’m ready to leave my stopover to see what the next stop of my journey beholds for us.!