Battle lines

Reading Time: 12 minutes

The battle of the sexes has been one that can be dated back to the conception of time. The fight might have been a silent one…one that would not be voiced at the beginning, but it was always there lurking in the shadows. But where can we say this battle came full circle?? The moment women realized their full potential and the men got scared of what would happen once women took control.

Fear of the unknown I can say is what created conflict that is still felt until now, in every setting that we find ourselves whether relationships, family or even the society in general. And before I go on, this is not a feminist post. This is a simple post that I hope will change perspectives from both sides and bring a small realization that both sexes are uniquely abled.

Culture and religion is what guides our life. We treat these entities as maps as we go through different stages in life and to say the truth, people who have tried not to follow the said maps to every letter, are either considered, crude, unruly, uncultured or completely out of their minds. As women I can say the world has alway related to us as the weaker sex. Look at most stories or movies. The Dame is always casted as the damsel in distress to show the aspect that you need a man to come to your rescue. It’s what we’ve taught our girls to also believe and I’m glad that we now live in a century that looks to empowering the girl child with different programs in place. In the process though, without realizing it, we are slowly losing the aspect of the boy child. Nobody seems to remember that the boy child still needs guidance and protection.

I know most of you are wondering why I’m including protection to my statement, because yes the boy child needs protection just like the girl child. We live in a cruel world as we know it.

Gender roles. What have we been taught from childhood? Men are the ones who are supposed to be in control of everything. A ‘General’ culture. Now, don’t get me wrong because I don’t mean that the culture is wrong, rather, I believe culture should be dynamic…something that changes with time. The male  species settings were initially set to provide, the head and this goes by most religions and cultures but as we stand now, things have changed the man is not the only provider, women too play an equal part in providing. But this most times doesn’t come down without drama.

First, you find most men getting intimidated by women who can put food on the table. They feel as if their balls are under attack which is the wrong misconception but hold on, you find that other women feel as if they have bigger balls when they can equally provide or have more than their partners and that’s where the ‘madharau’ factor gets in. Unnecessary conflict is created which is totally not worth it. The only way out of this unnecessary fix is really simple. Respect!

Interesting fact though…do you know that these conflict has also trickled down to bedroom matters? How you ask? Men have always felt comfortable when they’re in control when it’s about to go down…the alpha complex is greatly explored here. But what happens when they meet women who are well aware of their sexuality?? Their manhood is threatened and they label these women with awful names simply because they’re not alpha enough to hold their own.

Away from the two party setting and get to the world…

The work force is one flooded by our male counterparts. Women are still finding their place but it’s not made easy. It’s either people feel as if you’re not qualified enough to hold certain positions, or others keep dangling certain opportunities with the hopes of sexual favors in return. Some women even hold certain positions as their male counterparts and don’t even get equal pay yet they execute the same job. This is just wrong.

As women my advice is that this world owes us nothing. It’s not fair especially to us and that’s why at times, according to certain statistics, we are considered as minorities. And this passes regardless of race, religion or even social class. So the universe requires that you have to work a little harder to make yourself visible in a professional setting or even a cultural/social setting. Gunning for better opportunities or promotions, requires us to step up and let our voice heard. We should let the society know that we don’t need them to hand down what we deserve, but instead rightfully earn what we seek.

But at the end of the day this issue is something that is still really sensitive. People are still very skeptic about this much needed conversation. As a woman, whenever you bring out the issue of equality you are labeled as an ‘arrogant feminist’ this is sad because it forces a lot of us to hide behind the curtains for the sake of peace but that’s not anyway to live. It’s time we started addressing this issue.

Let’s start from the basics; how do you consider the other sex from either side of the coin? As a woman do you respect the men in your life and vise verser? If so, then good show this in all aspects of your life. Teach your children how to do this too by treating your kids equally and by respecting your partner too. Remember these kids watch you and follow your lead.

I personally feel that all these conflict is  unnecessary. We are different for a reason. I’ve echoed this in my previous piece ‘A Dame’s Tale’. There’s a reason as to why we existed as different entities and that is to compliment the other. As women we should admit that we still have a mighty long way to go. The right way if I may echo. While as for our male counterparts…don’t be the guy who disrespects women in any kind of setting. Support the women in your life first because its reflects. We are in this together so let’s make it work for us.

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  1. MaryKenya


    Mine is to endorse and underline Beyonce’s words. Teach them while they are young.

    *I hope the society allows me to quote a woman on such a topic.

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