Lori sat there staring at his face not believing what he had said to her…she had heard the words clearly but they felt like an echo. Her heart sank to her stomach and the tears just kept flowing down her cheeks…it felt like she had ran a million miles because she could hardly catch her breath and pacing around her living room didn’t help either.
“Uuuuuhhmmmhh…uuhhhhh…why..why would you do that to me… to us?” Barely audible enough for Jimmy to hear, she tried to seek solace from his answer although she knew she wouldn’t find any..
“Didn’t I mean anything to you?? You promised never to hurt me…I thought you actually loved me…but I guess not…huuuhh!!! Just leave.” She said as she showed him the door.
Jimmy was broken by how the turn of events had come about. The intention was never to hurt her but the damage had already been done. He broke her in ways she never thought were possible and the trust between them was completely broken…everything was just different…
A lot of couples now, are increasingly dealing with cases of infidelity which isn’t an easy issue to deal with especially when it happens when the other person is completely blindsided, (which I think is most of the times.) It feels like being hit by a speeding truck!! Everything goes dark.
Today, we have completely normalized cheating most especially when a man does it. It’s even defended by a lot of them…’mwanaume akifanya ivyo Ni sawa…men will always be men’ they say. I’m not a man and for that fact, it’s hard to give the correct point of view if there would be any but either way it’s wrong.
And with that point put across, it’s said that what a man can do, a woman can do it better and this has been proven right over and over again because today, women cheat better and more than men. Maybe they got tired of being the victims everytime and the mantra, ‘if you can’t beat them join them,’ was the lesser evil. It’s not right but…oh well here we are.
Relationships today literally feel like war zones because the two parties involved try to one up each other in fights and eventually in the cheating game…and here comes my next question; if your partner cheats should you stay or leave?? A personal choice perhaps? But here’s the thing if you asked me this question 2 or 3 years ago I would have said LEAVE IMMEDIATELY…NO EXPLANATION, NOTHING!!! But now, I think life humbles you and being in the actual situation changes the results…
But why would you stay?? Because today love is never enough…the trust is already broken…will things be the same again?? What is there to lose if you go your separate wats?? It’s definitely different when it involves married people rather than guys who are just dating.
Reasons why people don’t leave, My Take: Because believe it or not they actually love the other person, others are afraid of being alone, others enjoy or rather are comfortable with the toxicity of the situation and some women stay because they entirely financially depend on the guy. (No judgement but…you go to admit it… we’re all a little messed up).
My next question; were we wrong to advocate for monogamy?? Was it the wrong choice?? Was it just a fantasy that people advocated for or rather a failed social experiment?? The African traditions allow polygamy to happen so should we just allow it to happen??
I believe everyone has a choice no matter the situation…back against the wall, gun to your head, you always have a choice and If you ever find yourself in such a predicament just own up because we are always responsible for our actions…please don’t blame it on the devil or alcohol or otherwise you’ll get punched in the face!!
P.S: Nobody can still anybody from you people are not objects. As I said before…people always have a choice.
And you…yes you if you find yourself at the end of the awful news, then things will be ok somehow, someday things will make sense and no matter your decision to stay or leave, learn to heal on your own terms and this starts with forgiveness. This is not for them but for you… your own peace of mind. And no, nothing is wrong with you… you are perfectly imperfect and you are more than enough. And love and I mean true love will find its way to you if you let it…or not either way, you’ll be good.
I hope this gives you some type of healing…