My new normal

Change is hard. It’s not something anybody is ever ready for and regardless of the kind of preparation, It will always hit you like a moving train. As human beings, you can’t really blame us because we prefer living in spaces that are familiar to us. It is here that we are comfortable and confident in our abilities. We clearly mark out our territories and if it gets to defending them, we give it our best. But what happens when this familiar season or environment is taken away from us?

I’ve never been one who’s comfortable with change especially in my early years because it felt like torture. Change would employ a lot of anxiety and I wouldn’t want to face it. In fact, I would avoid it as much as I could. Playing  hide and seek until I wouldn’t anymore and as a result, this would just make it worse than it already was. But with time, I’ve come to a realization that in life, change is inevitable. The different seasons in life, are here to create the end product of our personal existence and hence my interest in this topic this week.

Within a span of nine months, I’ve recently gone through a couple of episodes that have led me to certain changes. The episodes included; leaving wrong situations that didn’t favor me and as a result, I’ve had to go through uncertain times where I had to learn about me all over again. The highs and lows were a b*** but it’s all been worth it.

…Sadly, a close family member has been critically ill and the fear of losing them, paralyzed me…I didn’t talk much about it In fact, it made me completely numb because I didn’t want to feel anything. The fear of loss made me loose my present because I didn’t want to face certain realities. Most recent though, was a change of working environment which was a plus. My metamorphosis has been one tough, confusing and painful one but it was all worth it.

And now as a result, I can confidently say I’m no longer that girl anymore. The girl who would have a complete melt down the minute she locked her bedroom door is gone!! The girl who made a lot of sacrifices for the people who really didn’t deserve it, took a hike!!! The girl who was afraid to step out because she was scared of what her partner would say, is not in existence. She who was afraid to leave wrong situations, is nowhere to be found.

Nonetheless, I still look back at my review mirror and see her trying to be really brave and that is something I’m grateful for. As weak and helpless as she was at that time, she was brave enough to fight for what she felt she deserved. I’m where I am today because of her.

Fear of the unknown is what stops us or paralyses us from bad situations. It’s what stopped me because I didn’t know what would meet me on the other side of the door. But the harsh realities of life are, whether we like it or not, we have to make changes in life. And if one is not ready to make these changes, then my friend life will force you to make them and this makes it even more hard to adapt to them.

We can never avoid change but we can control the reaction. How do you react to new situations?? Do  you run and hide like the old Mary or do you face them like a champ?? Well as scary as it might seem or how dark it maybe, face change however you see fit. As strong as a lion or as scared as hell. Face it. Learn to adapt especially in a world that is moving too fast…learn. Nobody is a guru just make the best out of situations.

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