What’s holding you back? Tackling the fear factor

Holding a glass of whiskey in his hand and a cigar on the other, he asked me a question and stared right at me sited across from his huge, beautiful mahogany desk. I couldn’t really answer him. I knew the answer… it was just at the tip of my tongue ready to roll out and help me make my case but the invisible gag wouldn’t let me.

…Cesar was his name he’d been a mentor of some kind the unconventional type because according to society, his kind of lifestyle was considered unacceptable. He lived his life how he deemed fit. He didn’t let anyone’s opinion shape how he wanted to do life. How we met is something people would term as something out of a movie but that’s a story for another day perhaps.

Cesar has done been there…!!

“You write…you actually write amazingly well I actually thought you were bullshiting me when you told me about it so why not create a platform where you would explore it with no restrictions? Set your own rules, follow-through, and just live your wildest dreams doing what you love. Explore new avenues through this platform and just kick ass… and work on being an exemplary writer…” And through that ladies and gentlemen, is how Marykenya was convinced…a light was lit and I followed through.

…But going back to that moment, having that conversation, I was afraid…fear held me back… I was afraid of failing, afraid that I was handling more than I could handle. I was afraid I wasn’t strong enough, or even good enough.

Cesar knew all these but wanted me to free myself from what was holding me back. He wanted me to break free from all the chains I tangled myself around. 

Fear is something our brain creates to protect us from harm. That’s basic human biology it’s what keeps us alive! But what happens is that we let this fear cripple us and hinder us from being what we were truly meant to be?

It’s ok to feel fear…it’s normal. It’s part of the process and it’s what keeps us on our toes, it’s what helps us make better decisions. it helps tame the reckless parts of us thus helping us be more calculated.

Imagine being in the presence of someone who didn’t let fear get in his way, with all this insight on my mind and still letting fear conquer my life? I felt ashamed and disappointed…my heart sunk…my heart was heavy and so there I was staring back at him ready to give him my answer.

“I guess I just turned stupid and lazy. I got comfortable and when it came time for me to stand up and stand out, I was scared. I was scared I wouldn’t be as I was before. I got used to a comfortable routine that wasn’t challenging at all…”

A weight was lifted off my chest…I could see the smirk on his face…as he finally settled his cigar on the ashtray.

“Now, was that so hard? I mean, like I always say, most times, you hold all the answers…I don’t even know why you need me to poke that big brain that you refuse to use sometime.”

Life is funny; there are situations that you know exactly what you want, what you have, and where you want to go but at times you have no freaking idea what you want, what you have, or where to go. And those are the moments that make life worth living. Enjoy all of it because those are the moments that are going to make or break you. Moments that are either going to make you a legend, an important element to your family, or just someone who just passed through the sands of time.

Are you afraid well, you’re not alone I am right there with you but are we going to sit down and let fear cripple us? Heck no!! We’re going to work through it. Afraid of taking the next step in life? Afraid of the uncertainty it may hold? Seeking your true calling? Want to live the life you’ve always envisioned for yourself? We’re going to tackle it together because I’m going through changes that are shaking me to the core…but I assure we will go through all that together!

I’m going to dedicate my time to learning, listening, and most importantly practicing so that I can give you the very best through my platform. I believe this is the start of something great and amazing and I can’t wait to share this very exciting yet scary journey we are about to take!

So what’s holding you back? Grab it by the balls look it straight in the eye and conquer it like the champion you are…remember you got this!

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