The devil in the details

Today’s generation has been hell bent on kicking out all the negativity in their lives and as usual, social media has on countless occasions been used to prove this point. We know the quotes all to well. And I think at this point, a lot of us would sing them out loud like our favorite pop song.

To prove a point?? You tell me.

Surfing through the web lately, there have been certain posts that have made me stop and think. But there’s one particular post that caught my eye recently and it read,  “check yourself sometimes you’re the toxic person.”

How does such a statement sink in? Not too well I’m sure. I read it the first time and i was like no…! There’s no way! I’m like the nicest human with a Halo. I’m not in any way toxic.

Most times we never want to acknowledge our own toxicity. And we see this clearly when we are asked to describe ourselves. “I am loving, hardworking, diligent and all the sweet nothings. Nobody ever stands and says “I can get lazy most times, I hate working, I hate socializing. People tend to hide that kind of stuff.

We see this passed over when things go wrong. We prefer blaming the other party or parties when things come crumbling. “He wronged me. “She wasn’t supposed to say that.”  “He wasn’t supposed to do that.” “He did me wrong.”

But have we ever taken the time to sit down and evaluate the situation?? And maybe see somebody elses point of view?? Hey, just throwing it out there, maybe ‘I AM’ the problem.

And note. I say this in mind of all the shity people walking on this Earth. We know them, We work with them and at times, we are forced to interact with them on a daily basis. Trust me I know the frustration of having to lower your I.Q to keep the peace  and to at least keep things going. Yes I can confidently say that go I through that almost on a daily basis and you too. But today, I’m giving them a pass to look at who ‘we’ really are.

I accept not taking blame most times. I don’t like taking blame because I think I’m almost right 99% of the time. I don’t want to sound corny but lately, I’ve been on a journey of learning more about me and through that journey, I’ve seen the good, the bad and the ugly. The ugly parts are the ones we tend to hide the most because we never want people to see that side of us. We are afraid of the judgement.

Which leads me to the next, next, point what are you hiding from the people you love and from yourself?? A lot I’m thinking. A lot of skeletons in the closet.

But let’s put it this way…we are basically made up of good and bad. We are our own Yin Yang (this is how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world ). I hope that makes sense.

Case study: My imagination tends to run wild once in a while and maybe that’s what keeps me writing it keeps the demons in check I guess but at the same time, it gives me so much joy when guys tend to enjoy my work and oh yeah I enjoy writing a lot. It’s my best form of expression. My form of art. Bringing some good into the world is a plus… so you see? The good and the wierd wrapped up in one to brings amazingness. (Basically the yin and yang situation.

Moving on, we are then born into a system where rules and regulations are set by either the law, religion or both. Some of us follow the rules mostly dependant on how it favors them and as a result, these rules determine whether we are good or evil. But imagine standing in a room where nobody could see you and you’d have the freedom to do whatever you want. In all honesty what would you choose to do? Good or bad?

At times though, our toxicity stems from our bad habits and awful past experiences. We tend to carry all the bad elements from the experiences we get and carry them to the new situations in our lives and as a result, we end up destroying everything we touch. Letting go is an art each and everyone of us should master. It’s not easy…the process sucks and I hate it at times but, I know how important it is.  Please note that while going through this, one must be brutally honest with themselves.

I think it’s time we called ourselves for a meeting cut out all the bullshit and admit to who we really are. We have to admit that yes, we are toxic, we are sometimes wrong and  bad or maybe, we are just carrying our dark past and mistakes. Like it or not, it’s part of who we are but not all of it the good in us sets the correct balance for our sanity. So next time before we throw shade… let’s stop and think. I’m I cool??

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