There is always two sides of the story and the matters of the heart are no different…there are so many ways we can describe the feeling but here’s my small version of the tale:
When I fall, I fall completely…’head of over heals’ as they commonly refer to it…I take you as you are…it’s an intoxicating feeling because your love is like a drug…I’m literally a junkie for it, a dose of it keeps me going…if I loose it, I get lost…I get restless…don’t you love me anymore? Is what I ask myself in silence…recalling every stare…touch and kiss doesn’t make it any easier…I feel myself loosing you in my mind and probably that’s why I get a little crazy…it’s all good…it’s all love…is what I tell myself.
My love for you is immensely measured by how much you’ve showed me…you gave me life when I had none left…you showed me Paris just by walking in the streets of Nairobi, you loved me when I couldn’t see me…believed in this even before it actually happened…you choose to take my hand in yours when I least expect it because you know it makes me jittery, cool, calm and collected…a weird combination I know but hey! I guess that’s how it’s supposed to work…I can say anything and be anything around you because you let me…I speak my mind and you listen to me with such conviction even when I speak a lot of nonsense…you respect my chain of thoughts, make fun of them due to their silliness and then give your suggestions…fill me up with that special kind of love…just continue drowning me in it…I ain’t complaining…
Well this is sweet and all but what happens when all this is pulled away from you and all of a sudden turns into a complete nightmare?? The other side of the coin as I like to call it.
What happens when we get betrayed and loose that being we held so close to our hearts…? A bit of you dies…your soul darkens and you become something completely different…break ups and let downs are never a good thing to go through…the situation makes you doubt your existence and your worth…you literally drop from cloud nine, right into the Nairobi garbage that seems to pile up in every waking moment! it’s insane and annoying!
Anyway back to the topic…you break in pieces…it hurts so bad you actually feel like you literally want your heart to stop to give yourself a break from the pain…the tears don’t help either because they just remind you of how weak you are. The other person has all the power but really at the end of the day you just have to pick yourself up and take back your power!
The best way to heal is to give yourself the same type of love you gave the other person…love you completely and rediscover the person you were all over again because most times, without even realizing it, we tend to loose ourselves to the other person. We end up loosing our identity which sucks…but we have to get over it somehow and sometime.
There you go! The two sides of the story…two sides of the coin that I understand most of us have had a chance to taste. The sweet and and the bitter.